Being someone who comes clean with his intentions, it's very difficult for me to "propose". Unlike most players, I don't want to use lies and deceit. From what I've observed and researched (by interviewing women who have had such experiences), some men play to the weaknesses of women and offer them promises of love and devotion. Some even go as far as making the woman fall for them first, then ask them to have sex as proof of their love. Others rely on liquor and taking advantage of the few moments when a woman's inhibitions are weaker or relaxed. The Art of Seduction actually stresses on "building a need", making your target want you so much that they'll be willing to do anything for you.

I've already said I don't want to hurt anyone if I could help it, hence my straightforward approach. Which is very very difficult. Women have natural defenses against "perverts" like me (I think I'm average though) and I've gotten a few negative reactions after such proposals. I don't mind rejection, but it's the judging that I don't like that much. So I've become wary of taking that first step, of making that invitation.

I was very torpe growing up, hence my becoming a late-bloomer and having little relationship experience prior to graduating from college. Those torpe characteristics really come up every time I consider asking someone, and it makes it really hard for me to make the first move. Which is good, in a way, because it limits me from damaging my reputation too much and from misbehaving. I can just imagine how bad people would think of me if I didn't have limits.

Which brings a known player that used to work in the same company as me to mind. I don't know much about him, other than he was really known as a womanizer around the office. He'd flirt with different women at work, and for some reason he doesn't get flak for it. Not as much as I did, anyway, after word of my "phase" leaked out (4 years of me being behaved thrown out the window--people only really remember the bad things don't they?).

I had a glimpse of his style and proof of his activities from conversations with 3rd, 4th and 7th. According to 3rd, who worked with him directly, he would simply ask women to have sex with them. He wasn't someone who promised love or anything, just a good time. I don't think he's handsome, he's the bad boy type actually (which a lot of women dig, apparently). 3rd admitted that the guy asked her, but she refused.

7th confirmed this guy's methods a few months ago, after we revisited our experiences. She had denied having relations with the guy when I asked her then, but this year she admitted fucking him once. According to her, he was persistent, and she thought "what the hell, let's go for it". I didn't ask about their experience, for fear of it becoming better than ours (which was good for me but being a quickie, well, I'll just say that if she gave me another chance I'll show her what I'm capable of under more realistic time constraints). 4th actually stumbled upon an email exchange between this guy and another officemate that confirmed they had sex.

I'm still quite amazed at this guy's success rate, given that our methods are similar. Oh, I have to concede the fact that he's more outgoing than I am and actually goes out with officemates to drink, so maybe the alcohol is also giving him a plus factor. I have to admit that I envy him, but only a bit--at this point in my "phase", I've realized that quality is more important than quantity. No matter how many experiences I get, if they're not nice experiences then I won't be any closer to my end goal: going straight and giving up this kind of life.

maine12

finally nkapagpa footspa at pedi din after how many months o year  pa ata..hehe next time pa haircolor naman & haircut na din?haay miss ko na gawin mga yun...

feeling ko nababawasan na time ko sa sarili ko. tas i need to gain weight din xe di na ko natutuwa sa katawan ko super payat ko na , o well sbi nga daw ng lolo ko baka di ko hiyang sa callcenter, baka nga , xe bitin talaga tulog ko tas xempre pag off ko naman di ko makatulog ng isang buong araw..haha xempre gusto ko naman makisalamuha sa ibang tao..

grabe narealize ko para na kong alien at di ko na alam mga balita..

haay..

pero ayun buti at kahit papano medyo naeenjoy ko din work lalo na pag avail, tas chikahan at tawanan ginagawa namin ..hehe

pero kung work naku work talaga queuing kung queuing ang drama.galit2 muna kami at halos maubos na laway ko..

iniisip ko pa din ano kayang effective way para magkalaman naman ako..

parang kahit ano gawin ko lalo lang ko pumapayat which is not good dahil baka masobrahan e maging tingting na talaga ako.. haay :(

A kiss.

Him : You've just given me a memory that will last a lifetime.
Her : C'mon, don't tell me that. It's just a kiss. It's nothing serious.
Him : I know. But serious or not, it was an exhilarating kiss. And what is life but a collection of those breaktaking memories.

Dark night.
The city glows.
The shutter clicked.

The city sleeps now. Peacefully. Beneath.

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Taken at the Parc Royale Helipad in Ortigas

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One thing I've learned through my previous experiences is that if you decide to engage in infidelities, then you need to set some communication rules with your partner(s). Being that these activities aren't really legal, openly communicating about them can cause trouble for both parties involved, especially when the person you're in a legal relationship with is constantly checking up on you. Which is the reason why I set certain rules for communcation. I don't want to go into details because "a magician never reveals his secrets" (but really, I don't want to make anyone a better "player" of the "game") so I'll just talk about general concepts.

The most important guideline and I think the first rule that needs to be established is there needs to be a way of determining if (1) you've reached the right person and (2) if it's a good time to talk about what you need to talk about (3) without revealing too much if it turns out that you're not talking to the right person.  All three conditions  need to be met before both parties can start talking about what they want to talk about.

The second guideline is both parties need to establish alternatives for "unsafe words" just in case someone happens to gain access to the conversation. This is to avoid having to blatantly state anything, and one can't ever be certain that the lines of communication (text messages, emails, chat conversations) will always be secure. It's easier to persuade someone to dismiss suspicious behavior than it is to convince them not to mind any hard evidence.

The third guideline is establishing a quick and efficient "out", something that will inform both parties that the communication has/will end or has already ended. This will prevent one side from sending any unwanted communication signals because they had no clue that it's not a good time to continue the conversation.

Now that I'm reading this, I think it's still too specific, I'm sure it's going to give others some good ideas. Oh well, I don't want to simply delete this. I'd like to hear other viewpoints about this topic, so I'll have to trust that anyone wishing to use these as a guide knows that they're responsible for their own actions.

The idiom "what you don't know won't hurt you" applies to acts done without one's knowledge that may be directly harmful to that specific person or not. And from personal experience and observation, I can attest to this idiom's truthfulness. When I was completely unaware that people I was working with were talking behind my back, I felt nothing. But when I found out what they did, I felt hurt. I would have never felt anything had I remained oblivious to the situation. In several aspects, this idiom is very similar to the popular saying "ignorance is bliss", the main difference is that saying "what you don't know won't hurt you" is specifically talking about any potentially hurtful act done against you.

This fact of life is one of the reasons why people are able to do hurtful things to those whom they love or care about. Now, the degrees or level of pain that different acts can cause varies depending on the act and people involved, but the basic idea remains the same. Everyone (and I dare anyone who can claim that he/she has not done anything consciously to hurt their partners/friends/families to speak up) does hurtful things to our loved ones at one point in our lives or another because we know that they will not get hurt if they never find out about what we did. It can be as minor as a white lie about not going to a party because "you're not feeling well" when in fact you don't like the person who invited you, or can be as bad as sleeping around behind your partner's back. It can involve lying to your parents, telling them that you'll spend the night over at a friends house to finish a project but in reality you're just out partying. It can be lying to your son or daughter about not being able to purchase a copy of their favorite magazine because the magazine stand "ran out of stock", but in reality you just didn't want to bother going out of your way just for a silly magazine.

So when you find yourself talking to a person who's supposed to be caring for you and loving you, and they claim that they "never meant to hurt you", they could be telling the truth. I'm sure they never meant for you to find out what they did, because "what you don't know can't hurt you".

Why can't I make love to you? Is is because:

• we're too familiar with each other? Has it become too ordinary now that we spend almost every minute of our lives together?
• I don't find you physically attractive any longer?
• I get more pleasure when it's taboo?
• I'm guilty about what I've been doing behind your back?
• there's never a good opportunity for making love?

If I had a cold heart, I could say this to your face:

"You can't lose what you never had in the first place."

That's the cold hard truth. You never had me. I never gave myself to you. I made it clear right from the start that my heart belonged to someone else. What we had was special, but it wasn't love. It meant something, but it didn't mean love. I will always be there for you, but not in the way that you want me to be.

Every affair starts with a dare.
And, sometimes, a cold lie.
A warm kiss that gives birth
To a memory,
A moonless night
And a harmless guile.

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Beneath Ortigas Station of MRT

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